Perfect Love

Heard at Mass....

During his years at our parish, an elderly priest talked about his own father a few times during his homilies. Through this sharing, the impression was that his situation with his dad had been one of those truly awful situations. There was no love there.

One day, this same priest offered that he was healed of much of his hurt when he began to ask God to fill in the love that he needed from his earthly father, yet never received.

This was an "aha!" moment for me. As a mom of adult children, I realize how often my love fell short. Even when it did not fall short through any neglect on my part, I can see now that my love often fell short of what my child needed at the time.

This gave birth to a new prayer for me- "God, please fill in the love that my children needed but did not get from me".

It is okay that I failed my children at times. They are okay. There are no perfect earthly parents. Only God can offer that perfect love.

So, I pray that I give my children daily the love that they need, and that God's grace and love fill in what I am unable to provide.

Seen at Mass...

I have, on a few occasions, shared a snippet or two what from what I heard at mass in the morning.

Today, I am sharing a "Seen at Mass"...

Here's the backstory: 

I got up to go to mass today and realized that I was in desperate need of clean laundry. Nonetheless, I managed to scrape together something to wear, drove to mass, and then hid in the very last row off to the side (you know, hoping no one would notice my bedraggled state).

Once there, my mind wandered off on a train of thought. I had noticed a young lady genuflect when she came in and shyly touch the corner of the tabernacle (that is situated in small alcove to the side) before scooting off to her seat. It got me thinking about how often I have almost reached my hand out but did not... I am not even sure why. Just awkward, I guess. And how on particularly tough days, I have knelt slightly outside the alcove looking at the few rows of padded chairs and thought I'd love to just curl up and go to sleep right there next to Jesus. It seems so comforting. At the end of these thoughts, I imagined how ridiculous I would look if someone walked in and saw me laying there! And it occurred to me how I often felt awkward publicly making a display of even the smallest kind - the sign of the cross, prayers before meals when eating out... I do them anyway, but I was well in to my adult life before doing these things, and they still feel far from habit.

On To "Seen At Mass":

Okay, so I am sitting in mass and all these thoughts have quickly come and gone from my head. Mass begins and, at some point before the consecration, a very large unkempt homeless man comes barreling in the back of the church and up the aisle straight to the front of the church stopping at the foot of the alter to fling himself prostrate on the ground. Within a few minutes he started to quietly sob.

I was a bit stunned. No one at the church seemed overly alarmed. Father continued mass and the man eventually got up and went to the opposite side of the church from me and sat down. Toward the end of mass, he moved to sit next to a woman who seemed to know him and he started to quietly cry again.

At some point during all this, I put together my previous thoughts that I had been thinking of how awkward I felt at times showing even the slightest outward display and here this man was, in front of a hundred or so people, laying it all out there. That he came to lay down in front of Jesus to seek comfort and seemed not to have a care at all that we were there.

I am not sure what troubles this man had and was glad to see that there were people who seemed to care who were comforting him after mass. But I do feel humbled by his willingness to throw himself in front of Jesus. I hope to take that lesson with me and be a bit more BOLD in my outward displays of faith!

Connecting The Dots...

Only this is sort of a connect the homilies post! :)

Mary vs. Martha- How many times have I listened to homilies on this reading? Or talks given at women's conferences? I always come away with the same thing: Mary-good, Martha-bad. Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet taking the best and Martha scurrying around. Now, maybe that is just how I heard it. This is how I heard it this time- Martha wasn't just doing. Martha was serving. She was serving our Lord! Would Jesus be critical of her for that? But Martha lost her focus. Instead of focusing on the Lord, she became anxious and upset.

Sunday Homily- I just love Fr. Samuel, a father of many who became a priest after his wife passed away. Boy does he have a way of getting to the point! The point, again, was focus. Father talked of the many parents who approach him with concerns of their children who have lost their faith. These parents fret and worry. They lose focus of Jesus. "Give them to Jesus and spend your time focusing on Him, who can do all things".

The rich man (today's homily)- He was a good man. He kept the commandments. BUT, his love of wealth had a strong hold on him. Father told us that in Greek (I believe) the translation says that Jesus looked at this man with love. I don't know why but that just made the picture of this man standing their holding tight to his money over following Jesus all the more poignant. Father asked us what are we holding on to in our life that is causing us to lose focus, to turn away.

Then there is the story that this blogger shared about the hemorrhaging women who was healed by touching Jesus' coat. If I was an amazing writer like this blogger, I could have written that post almost exactly (the circumstances are not exact, but the feelings are!).

(http://www.colleenduggan.net/2013/08/how-hemragging-woman-in-bible-taught-me.html)

Yes, turn to Jesus.

I am running around worrying, fretting, freaking out... my boys are asking me more frequently why I am mad. Am I mad at them?

Then as I was switching a laundry load (of all things!) this morning, I paused. I prayed. 

I then decided wake my boys up early. We proceeded to whip through a few chores, go to mass, pick up some doughnuts, and do a quick work of mercy for a loved one (and share our doughnuts with her!).

We were home in time to wash the dogs, shower, and take a quick break before our little charge arrived at 10:45.

Somehow my focus had changed. The day was full of blessings instead of stress.

I could not do this.

For two weeks, I have been spinning my wheels.

I knew I had to pray my way through this school year, but I was becoming anxious.

I was losing focus!

I was holding on to my fears and worries instead of letting them go. And I needed to stop trying to fix it all by myself! My small act of trust and focus yielded unimaginable graces!

I am not silly enough to think that every day will go smoothly just because I trust God and pray. But I am so thankful to God for showing me this little glimmer of his generosity. I feel like He was telling me "see, you just had to ask".

It may not always change what happens, but I know that it will change my heart to keep my focus.

Our little charge with Uncle Marky. 

Heard At Mass...

"If you were on trial for being Catholic, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"

I haven't shared our feast day table for May or June-

May is the month of Mary!! 

Those flowers in the top left were given to me by hubby on Mother's day for our feast day table. Very elegant- don't you think?

The adorable flowers on the right were made by my 3yo grandson to add to May's "Mary Table" as well. 

I love the little Holy Spirit picture (shown up close on the top L picture)- I look for little things like that in spring when confirmation gifts are in stores. 

June is a great month for feast days! 

The two pictures across the bottom are from the same holy card- it is one those cards that when you tilt it, it goes from one picture to the next. 

And more flowers!! This time from my 3 yo granddaughter. 

Super duper cute! Made out of plastic cups (I think). 

On the side row- the cross is from an Oriental Trading Co. kit, the Corpus Christi craft is from Seton Art 1, and the Sacred Heart was created using Seton as well. 

One more awesome thing to share: 

My boys made their confirmations on Pentecost Sunday!! 

On the left- 

Paul and his oldest sister, Shauna. 

Shauna is also Paul's Godmom and she takes her job very seriously. 

On the right-

Mark and his brother-in-law, Bob (married to Mark's Godmom, Jessica). 

He and Jessica also take their God-parenting seriously. 

Heard At Mass...

Father, sharing a favorite quote of his, said this during his homily on Friday morning:

"Barrels of ink have been spilled trying to write the CROSS out of Christianity." 

Food for thought!

We want to make Christianity comfortable, but if we are following the one who carried the cross, it is likely not going to be. 

"Start each day...

by asking God what he wants you to do. Then ask Him for the strength to do it."

The homily at this morning's mass was not a long one, but I have a terrible memory and as usual forgot within minutes what it was about. As was Father was walking back to the presider's chair, he threw the above quoted in for good measure. Simple as it is, it stuck with me.

The Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul

For today, the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, we are reading the last chapter of this book-

We actually read the entire book except the last chapter a while ago- something interrupted us (maybe advent?). Having read about St. Paul, his conversion, and his adventures in this book, it seems fitting to finish it today. 

Heard during the homily at mass today (paraphrased)- "You talk about your conversion that happened 20 or 30 years ago. How about today? Does your conversion show in your life today? In the way you act, speak, and live your life?" I am giving a pretty weak recap. Sometimes I wish I took notes during the homily. 

It did make me think though- I am a Catholic Christian living my conversion every day. Does it show?