Fall/Halloween/All Saints

Because I am the sort to procrastinate (and because the attic ladder was broken until just a few days ago), we did not put up any decorations until Thursday, the day before Halloween. As it turns out, we had good bit of rain, so I am thankful that we had not set up any outside decorations ahead of time. But I do enjoy adding a few touches of fall/Halloween to our shelves.

Inspired by All Saints food tags from Lacy at Catholic Icing, we set a table with snacks to represent several saints. I keep thinking that I want to create a generic saints tag (cause the tags just make everything festive) and have each guest bring a treat to represent their favorite saint. 

We do have the most festive family! These are most of my wonderful children and grandchildren (one family is missing from the photo line up as they came later), some nieces and nephews, and a few dear friends. 

Oh, and Paul was missing above. We caught him with Jack Sparrow and Maleficent (who hand made her entire costume by the way!), and also carrying a tired trick-or-treater on his shoulders. 

Next Friday is our annual homeschool All Saints party, so there is more fun in store! 

I've linked these before, but here are a few articles for the season:

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/all-hallow-s-eve.html 

This above link was going to the site and not the article- if that happens, just type "Halloween" in the search bar and then click on this article :

 All Hallow's Eve

One of the nicest surprises of living around the year with the Church is to find that Halloween is part of it.

http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/20000901/ARTICLES/all_souls.htm

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! is what I thought when I read this post: 

http://designsbybirgit.blogspot.com/2013/12/sanctity-of-life-sunday-emulate-holy.html?m=1

(this is a short two paragraphs but a must read!!)

Since early Christmas morning, my mind has been whirling about something... I'll back track a bit first.

When our oldest three daughters (all born within less than three years) were babies, my husband and I attended mass (if somewhat less than regularly).

One Sunday, I had dressed my three little girls up in their very best for mass. As we climbed over a few people to get to the middle of the pew and settle in with our family, a few those around us were clearly not impressed.

I remember that mass and how hot the back of neck was as I felt those behind me glare... I remember the horrible flustered feeling of embarrassment.

Were the people around us actually that bad? I am guessing not. I was young and new at this. I allowed those few to make me unwelcome.  I bet many people actually thought my girls were as adorable as I did.

The good news is we are still here (after a brief detour)!

But then I wonder how many are not.

Okay- back to Christmas morning.

My daughter joined us at 7:30 a.m. mass with her two adorable boys. We marched ourselves right up to the front pews of the church so that the boys could see their uncles alter serving and the manger with baby Jesus all set up.

The boys were so excited in those few moments before mass began. There were happy whispers about "baby Jesus" being there, some "hushes" from mom and grandma, and lots of pointing and excitement!!

What more joyous occasion is there than Christmas morn?

Until.

The lady in front of me turned around and very sternly told me that "you need to take those kids to the crying room".

I was stunned.

When I did not instantly comply, I was treated to several glares. Mass began and we opted to move a few rows back where the lady continued to crane her neck in order to glare at us.

Of course, there comes a time to take a two year old out, and, at the appropriate moment, we did.

I am not going to be chased away from the Catholic church- nor is my daughter.

But I can't help thinking about two things this week-

What if that was a young mom going to Christmas mass with her little ones, but was not a regular church attendee being glared at- would she come back?

And I have thought about that lady as well. I can only imagine what sort of day she was in for. It could not have been a happy one. Who could sit in front of the baby Jesus in the manger "born at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold" and then turn around and glare at a slightly disruptive chubby cheeked toddler?

I am not sure how this all works- but are married Catholics the only ones who are suppose to be open to life? Aren't we all? What if my grandson had actually been being very annoying- does that mean that we should glare at him? I know and I am sure most of us know when its time to give a child attending mass a break. But what are we gaining by acting unkindly to those who don't? I would venture to say that we should be even more kind to those who don't know better- we want them to keep coming back and learn!! 

I often think of the wonderful priest who announced that we are to welcome the little ones and be thankful to the parents who bring them to mass.  I am sure no one realized that he was talking about my son who, before my very pregnant self could stop him, had gotten down on all fours in the aisle and started to bark very loudly! ;)

I have seen several posts on this topic of children at mass and whether or not they are welcome, and I just don't think it is a negotiable point. Have you seen the statistics on mass attendance among young people? We need them there. They need us. They need God in their families!

I want to smile at as many little ones in mass as I can, and I want to thank each and every one of the parents who brings their beautiful noisy disruptive adorable children to mass!!  

From the above linked post-

"let's resolve to welcome all children"

Merry 5th Day of Christmas! 

A LIttle Thankful Goes A Long Way

So often, I get up in the morning to my quiet house (yes, once all of your children are in double digits, the house often is quiet in the very early morning hours!), listen to MY music, work on chores, and have a little quiet time to just think while doing those routine chores.

I often have nice thoughts at that time of the morning... thankful thoughts! Usually by mid afternoon, my mindset is a bit more harried. The only thankful thought I might have at that point is when I open the cupboard to see that I do indeed still have some of my favorite green tea left in there to get me through the day!

One recent morning, I grabbed a piece of paper while I was in the middle of those "thankful" thoughts. These particular thoughts were directed toward my husband. I knew it was going to be a crazy long day and that those thoughts would be soon lost, so I wanted to capture them. In that little moment I wrote a thank you note to my husband- nothing that significant. Just thanking him for some of the special things he had done that he might have thought went unnoticed.

It is not that I never thank my husband- I do. But for whatever reason, coming home to that note on his desk that afternoon (I was gone on a late field trip with all the kids) really touched him.

I am not sure why I chose to put my thoughts in writing that moment (maybe the Holy Spirit?), but I am so glad that I did. It was such a little thing with very little effort on my part, yet Frank mentioned that note several times- always with a smile and a wink (he mentioned it in front of my daughter, and she thought that wink must have meant I had written something slightly personal. Not so).

I read somewhere that gratitude unshared is liking buying and wrapping a present but never giving it... I'm inspired to share my gratitude even more.

Feeling truly thankful!  

It's With A Heavy Heart...

that we say good-bye to this wonderful, holy priest. 

He went to his eternal home this week and, by all accounts, he was always ready to go home (very much looking forward to it), but those of us left behind are struggling right now. 

He is missed. 

                   

                                     

Please pray for the soul of Father Mark and for all of his dear family, especially his mother, who are grieving right now. 

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Feast Day Table...

to bring you the birthday variation. :)

I have no pictures of the celebration yet (I did not have my camera so I am at the mercy of others who I will bug shortly- after they have fully recovered from the lovely party they threw me.).

I came home with the big "5-0" you see taped on the wall. My daughter, Shauna, put it together for the party (Pinterest inspired). It is just stunning. More so in person. 

 A close up of a few pictures. 

 The table with all of my cards lined up across the back. You can still see a hint of our faith/feast day table- St. Joseph, some purple for lent, Mary, and my lent table runner. 

 Another Pinterest inspiration (I was told). My daughter, Jessica, asked people to give them a word that describes me. She took them all and made this frame with my baby picture in it. I think she asked people for only "nice" words. ;) 

 Flowers from my sweet Goddaughter and family. 

 Erin, daughter #4, was in charge of invites. (As the party was a surprise, I received mine after the party.)

I have honestly never felt as special as I did Saturday night. I was overwhelmed with the effort and love  poured out on my special day. The invitation says 5 p.m.-7 p.m., but my girls planned a little "after party" for when the guests left. Just my kids (kids, son-in-laws, grandkids) played a "who knows the most about mom" game. It was pretty fun! Well, funny. I'll share more when I have some pictures. 

32 Years...

It looks like we made it... for 32 years!! :) 

The "milestone" anniversaries that we have passed all seemed to come with other major events, so while we have celebrated together, we have never celebrated our anniversary with all of our children. 

This year we went to morning mass at our local parish and renewed our vows. Thirty-two is an odd year to do that, I know, but this is a quiet year (as of now), so we grabbed the opportunity. If this looks like more like a classroom than a church- it is. The side classroom doubles as a chapel during the week. The setting may not have been romantic, but the moment surely was. 

Then we headed off to breakfast together. All together! This was a hard won picture- it may not win any awards, but everyone is (more or less) looking at that camera! 

A few days ago, I shared a few thoughts last week on our marriage (toward the bottom of the post) as well as a "before picture" of Frank and I. We were practically babies! Eee gads. 

Happy Feast Day of John Bosco (a day late)!!! 

So many thoughts...

This weekend my daughter was off in our 15 passenger van to drive her friends to the BART station (Bay Area Rapid Transit) and then take that up to the city for the Walk for Life. I am at once elated at this generation of people who value life, and yet discouraged as FB friends express their dismay that these young people seen at the walk don't understand how hard fought this "right" for women is. They claim that without this "choice" women would be dying in illegal abortion clinics... it is their right to do with their body what they wish.

I wish these vocal FB women- ones who I suspect have not had an abortion (the women I know who have are usually very angry in their arguments or very sad)- would see the love of all life that we on the pro-life side, and especially these young people, have. Their love extends not only to the unborn, but to the mothers in crisis- the ones who have chosen abortion and the ones thinking about it. They have compassion for the hurt and loss these women feel.

I feel a special empathy for these women. As so many women that I know, I have had several miscarriages at all stages of development. I have held these little lost lives in my hand- each one different. Some looking like a little tadpole with arms just budding out, others more fully developed. Our little boy that we lost 7 years ago this month fit in the palm of my hand, yet he had all of his little parts- I even laughed a little after he was born when I realized that I really could tell he is a boy! His name is *Mathew by the way- spelled that way because my husband spelled it wrong, which also makes me laugh a little every time we visit the place he is buried. My compassion comes from understanding this loss. Some may say these women chose this- I say that they did not know. They couldn't have known. I can only imagine their suffering to be far greater than mine. And so, I feel a bond with them and a love and hope for healing.

This month is not only the month that we lost our little boy, but also the month that my husband and I celebrate our anniversary. As we approach our 32nd, I have been giving a lot of thought to our marriage. I would say that our marriage is successful in a very real way. I would attempt to glorify it, but on the off chance that one of my children read this, I'd be busted as being a fraud. We are the most human of couples- I always imagined reaching this point in life and having a deep rooted maturity. Not so, I regret to say. At our worst, we are no more mature than the average toddler. Fits are had, arguments take place, expectations rule the day... but we keep trying.

Years ago, my husband went to a mass that happened to have a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary. The husband was asked what the success to his marriage was due to. His answer was that couples are told that marriage is a 50/50 deal. He, on the other hand, felt that each person should give 100% to the marriage. That way, when one of the couple was not able to give his or her full portion, there is still enough to go around. Much of the success in our marriage comes, I believe, from my husband taking those words to heart. For so many years, through many trials and hardships, he has carried the 100% on his back- without complaint. Truly. And without keeping score. I am blessed.

Yup, that's us! :) 

*Mathew is a correct spelling- just not that way we had planned on spelling his name. :) 

Love This...

My friend emailed me these pictures that she took of my boys. Thanks, Eleen!

 James is the one holding the candle that you can see facing the camera.  And, if you recognize the priest- yes, that is Fr. Mitch Pacwa. 

Right to left- Paul kneeling at the bells, James closest to the camera holding a candle, and Mark holding the other candle. 

A Learning Moment...

Years ago, when hubby and I were dating, we decided to join his parents at Sunday mass. We were coming from some other event and neither of us had necessarily dressed for the occasion. However, it was not until we were out of the car and walking in to church that I really stopped to  take notice of our appearance (or rather his appearance!).

Looking at my then boyfriend, I was taken aback by his casual attire- shabby shirt and jeans with holes in them. Add to that his longish hair at the time, and his vibe was a bit more "beach bum" than "Sunday best". I immediately stopped and said something about it. Future hubby said "no worries". I pointed out that we were meeting his MOTHER in church. He said that it was okay, she would be happy to see him. I had my doubts.

We entered church as it was about to begin. No sneaking in quietly. He is from a big family and moving around the pew to make room for us as everyone was standing for the entrance hymn was no small feat. Future hubby's mom looked over and saw him and... just like he said. She beamed. There was no reproach in her look as she reached over to give him a big hug. He was totally and completely accepted and loved.

That message has stuck with me all these years. It is one that I have shared more than once. I often think- when my children walk toward me, what do they see? Is there criticism in my look? Do they see love?

Would I rather my children always dress appropriately for church (and other occasions)? Do I wish they would always behave? Of course I do. Will it make a difference if I heap criticism on them or constantly show disapproval? Maybe. I doubt it though.

On occasion (perhaps more often than I should), I do say something to my children about how they are dressed. Not necessarily because I  want to be critical of my children. It is because I want them to make good choices. I want others to see them the way I do. When a young lady attends church in less than modest attire, I know that others are NOT seeing the beautiful person (showing a slight lack of judgement) inside. As for holes in the jeans... well, sometimes hubby still has them!

Still, I always try to remember my husband's mom and the joy on her face at seeing her son join her at mass with her regardless of his attire. I fall short at times. I can honestly say that I don't think my husband's mom ever has- no matter what, her children are a source of joy to her and her love for each of them shows when she is with them even today.

It is something to strive for!

Filling Our Catholic Tank

Wow. Amazing. I am overwhelmed by these two weekends. Last weekend was the Catholic homeschooling conference and this weekend was "Ignite Pure Explosion" youth day. 


Every so often it feels good to just revel in our Catholic faith. To celebrate, enjoy, share, be inspired, ... the image that comes to mind is a picture of my son in the snow where he is just rolling around in and covering himself in it. I feel completely submersed in my Catholic faith.

My 14yo son and I just arrived home from the youth day. I feel so privileged to have been there. My husband was going to go, but he had a particularly tough week, so he passed the job to me. While I can see how my son might have preferred a father/son outing, I just loved every minute of today. 


First we got to go out to breakfast just the two of us. A rare treat indeed. And then we listened to some fantastic speakers, watched some moving skits, and heard some great Catholic music while surrounded by hundreds (I think more than 500) young people!! 

For me, it was great to go to a conference where the central focus was about knowing, loving, and serving God. And how much God loves and cares for each of us. The basics, but they are not always easy basics. Father Augustino Torres spoke about some of the hard truths of the world in which we live. He also spoke of our "Catholic" response to those truths. Chris Stephanick brought perhaps a more parental view to the table- but a very cool parental view.

Paul had a great time too. He admitted being rather reluctant to go, but was pretty happily surprised at how fun and interesting it was. When pressed to share a thought on the day, he had a hard time coming up with something. He did say that he liked Father Augustino's skit using different hats (including a Darth Vader mask)- each hat represented a point of view that different people have about who Jesus is. His final "hat" was a crown of thorns (the only hat that he did not actually put on his head), showing us who Jesus really is. 

The smudges on Paul's t-shirt are actually signatures written with sharpie pen. The kids in our group ran around and asked people to sign their name on the shirts in order to pray for them. It was a nice way for them to meet others and got a positive response. 

http://www.corazonpuro.org/?q=HomePage (Father Augustino Torres)
http://realifecatholic.com/ (Chris Stephanick)

Last weekend, I attended the Catholic Homeschool Conference in Santa Clara, California. Two of the main speakers were Laura Berquist and Ginny Seuffert. Now these two ladies have some serious Catholic homeschool super powers! Although, much of both talks could have spoken to any parent- not just homeschool parents.

Laura is infused with the joy of homeschooling. She sort of reminds me of a women who tells her birth story after the labor pains. She has gone through those hours of agony yet nothing of the bitterness is left- just the pure joy in having that precious little one in her arms. Laura has "birthed" her children into the world, and the sweetness is all that is left. Her voice, her mannerisms, and every word she spoke was an encouragement for the long haul. 


There are many nitty gritty details that I could share, but the one that is still ringing in my head is "tell your children that you love them". We spend every day all day with our children- of course we love them! But take the time to look them in the eye and tell them! Don't get too caught up in the daily grind and forget to do that. I think some of her talk is based on her book, Teaching Tips and Techniques. 

Ginny's talk was based on her book, Home Management Essentials. These types talks can be discouraging to me. A well kept home is important to me, but I find myself falling short of many of the proclaimed ideals out there. Ginny made a good case for keeping a sane (not spotless) home without making it sound like an unreachable goal. She pointed out that for those of us who have chosen the home as our "mission field", it is our home that is often going to speak to people about the joys of our faith and family. When someone (our children included) comes in to a home that is well kept enough to walk in and take a comfy seat on the couch and sees the picture of Mary along with a crucifix hanging on the wall, they are going to see our crazy Catholic family as a beautiful thing (or at least they might). 


Her other strong point was that many of us have too much stuff! An uncluttered home is much easier to keep up. I am with her on that one. 


I am not saying this very well, but you can follow the link to her book. I plan to order a few copies to share with others. 

31 Years!

My daughter posted this on Facebook today... I love it. :)

James Alter Serving...

James just recently started alter serving. He has wanted to serve at mass for a while long time! He begs Father Mark, at the local parish, to let him to serve sometimes. Father has been kind and allowed him to even though he is under the age requirement for that church.

BUT... his big wish was to serve with his friend Jeremy while wearing the red cassock (used during the Christmas season) at the parish we regularly attend. We are not going to be able to make it over to that parish this weekend, so I was worried that I would not be able to make this wish come true. Somehow it all came together today!

Thanking God for small gifts.

Using The Good Notes...

A dear friend emailed me in response to reading my blog (or blogs- not sure) telling me that I am a "wonderful homeschooling Catholic mom". I appreciate the compliment. Especially from her. This friend knows me- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It also gave me pause to think about what I share in blogland.

A line from a movie popped in my head- "I used only the good notes." 

This was used in reference to a melody that a man composed in honor of a lady friend. While it was a cute romantic line in the movie, it pretty accurately describes my blogging. While I occasionally share a sour note, I try to stick to the good ones!

So when I share our magical morning of putting up Christmas lights, it really truly was magical.

YET, it was not without those moments.

I contributed a few of them as our lights project was getting of the ground (yep, sour notes are not just for kids).

Along the way, I cringed thinking the neighbors might actually hear how my kiddos were talking to each other in the front yard.

And then- bliss.

Things settle in and everyone seems to be working happily together... for now!

God bless you during this holy, yet very real, advent!