A Learning Moment...

Years ago, when hubby and I were dating, we decided to join his parents at Sunday mass. We were coming from some other event and neither of us had necessarily dressed for the occasion. However, it was not until we were out of the car and walking in to church that I really stopped to  take notice of our appearance (or rather his appearance!).

Looking at my then boyfriend, I was taken aback by his casual attire- shabby shirt and jeans with holes in them. Add to that his longish hair at the time, and his vibe was a bit more "beach bum" than "Sunday best". I immediately stopped and said something about it. Future hubby said "no worries". I pointed out that we were meeting his MOTHER in church. He said that it was okay, she would be happy to see him. I had my doubts.

We entered church as it was about to begin. No sneaking in quietly. He is from a big family and moving around the pew to make room for us as everyone was standing for the entrance hymn was no small feat. Future hubby's mom looked over and saw him and... just like he said. She beamed. There was no reproach in her look as she reached over to give him a big hug. He was totally and completely accepted and loved.

That message has stuck with me all these years. It is one that I have shared more than once. I often think- when my children walk toward me, what do they see? Is there criticism in my look? Do they see love?

Would I rather my children always dress appropriately for church (and other occasions)? Do I wish they would always behave? Of course I do. Will it make a difference if I heap criticism on them or constantly show disapproval? Maybe. I doubt it though.

On occasion (perhaps more often than I should), I do say something to my children about how they are dressed. Not necessarily because I  want to be critical of my children. It is because I want them to make good choices. I want others to see them the way I do. When a young lady attends church in less than modest attire, I know that others are NOT seeing the beautiful person (showing a slight lack of judgement) inside. As for holes in the jeans... well, sometimes hubby still has them!

Still, I always try to remember my husband's mom and the joy on her face at seeing her son join her at mass with her regardless of his attire. I fall short at times. I can honestly say that I don't think my husband's mom ever has- no matter what, her children are a source of joy to her and her love for each of them shows when she is with them even today.

It is something to strive for!