88 Weary

My father-in-law was a sergeant in the tank division under Patton in WWII. His tank was called 88 weary because those who were in those tanks were weary of the German 88 millimeter anti-tank artillery gun. My husband tells of his dad sharing that they had to keep on the move to keep from getting a hole blown right through the tank. 

Now this might seem like a stretch, but what keeps playing in mind is how weary I am. How weary so many moms I know are. They are constantly maneuvering to keep from having that hole blown through their tank.

Those moms I know are dealing with chronically ill children- they are weary from worrying about how to dodge the next bullet, find the right specialist, and about not missing that important piece of information that might be key. 

Or they are taking care of their elder parents in addition to parenting and homeschooling. What if they don’t call every day and their 95-year-old father decides he is going to something fullhardy like picking a water heater Home Depot just days after he had hernia surgery? How do you keep moving to avert disaster? Can you? When do you completely melt down under the pressure?

I find myself more and more feeling like one of those tanks with holes shot right through me. I am damaged. I am not able to continue. How God? How can I do this? I trust you, but I don’t TRUST you.

I don’t have all the answers, but I did get a bit of blessed relief today when talking a friend in our homeschool group. Like a sip of cool water on a hot day, her words lifted me up.

Sitting in our mom chairs while the kids all played, we talked. She reminded me of so many things: 

Start the day with prayer. 

It’s okay if you start a rosary only to get interrupted. 

Finish it later.  

Or not.  

Just starting is better than not. 

Turn to the Holy Spirit. 

Leave quiet for the Holy Spirit to talk to you. 

Pray each day for a docile and humble spirit.

She was not preaching. Just talking about her own struggles and concerns, but sprinkled with the hope of things that can be done to shore our battle weary selves up.

NOTE: I wrote this post months ago but for some reason never hit publish. Came across it today and needed to hear it myself!! So here goes... publish.